Startling Memories

Startling Memories

I am always amazed at the new perspective that I can gain from my clients.  A few mornings ago, one really resonated with me.  Quite frankly, it was heartbreaking.

It began when we were discussing before and after pictures.  I was BEGGING her to get some “before” pictures because we have come such a long way since we began six months ago. Then, she weighed 192lbs with 39% body fat.  (This adds up to 117lbs of lean mass and 75lbs of fat.)  Now, she weighs 162lbs with 27% body fat, adding up to 117lbs of lean mass and 45lbs of fat!  In case you are wondering, these are incredible results.  Most people who lose 30lbs don’t lose it while maintaining muscle.  To lose this much fat and still maintain muscle weight is a tremendous success.

She told me that she has not taken any pictures of herself since she gained weight.  She also said that she destroyed all of the pictures that other people had taken of her. I was not convinced, but after I fought her to give me that “before” picture (a battle in which I offered 3 of my most embarrassing photos in exchange, which would include the outrageous hair-colorings of a teenager that was certain he’d be a rock star by 19), I finally gave up and walked across the gym.  She looked pensive, as if she was coming to a startling realization.  When I walked back to her, she stopped me.

“I haven’t just deleted and destroyed the pictures of myself when I weighed the most,” she said.  She told me that when she weighed the most, she was so embarrassed at how far she had come from her “old self” that she had gone back and deleted ALL of the pictures of herself when she was skinnier.  She was so humiliated by how far she had come that she didn’t want people to see her skinnier and think that she had let herself go. Wow.

It is heartbreaking to think of how our view of ourselves and our fear of how others view us can drive us to forget who we are.  She deliberately erased memories just to prevent judgment.  THIS is what happens when vanity and image is at the root of our reasons for fitness.  People go through anything, even erasing themselves, just so that they can see what they want in the mirror or feel like others don’t judge them.  In nearly every blog post, I mention that fitness is not about vanity, but lifestyle.  This story only adds to that.

panaramic gym

The truth is, she still isn’t comfortable with herself.  And when she finally gets to her goal, if she continues to think this way, she will still see herself at her worst.  It’s what most people do.  Fortunately, we are changing her way of thinking so that she can be satisfied NOW.  This is the goal, to shift our focus to the things that make us better and to learn when to be proud of ourselves for the hard work that we’ve done.

SHAME will destroy you.  Do not let it.  Focus on fitness, on performance, and our loved ones that matter most.  We are fit because it makes us better people, not just better-looking.

Katie and Luke's Maternity Session

Reblogged from :

Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post
  • Click to visit the original post

My dear friends Luke and Katie are getting ready to welcome little Anne-Claire into their hearts and home. With just five short weeks left to go before baby, the parents-to-be took a trip out to our house in the country for some good ol' fashioned BBQ and a quick photo session to help them remember this precious time in their lives.

Read more… 32 more words

Maternity pics from our dear friend! Follow her blog for more great pics to come!

Learning to Breathe

Dear Readers,

This blog entry is very personal and dear to my heart.  I have been thinking about this post often for the last 3 months but could not write it until now.

Sometimes a coach needs to be reminded of what it is like to play on the field.  As a fitness coach, it is easy to forget how hard it is to count calories and take time out of my schedule to train and do cardio.  Sometimes I forget that I’m the freak.  I’m the crazy person that likes to workout.  And the truth is, it is easy for me to do it often because I work at a gym.  Every day I’m reminded of it.  I don’t have to leave work and go to the gym before arriving home.  I don’t have to wake up at 4:30am just to get a workout in before going to work.  Until recently, I have never even counted calories consistently for more than a few weeks at a time.

In January, I decided to go on a bodybuilding prep diet.  I was inspired by a book by Drew Manning called Fit2Fat2Fit.  He gained 70lbs in six months and then lost 70lbs in the next six months.  I read his book and I highly recommend it, but I was left wanting.  I wanted to know more about this psychological process.  I wanted to really feel what my clients had to go through.  I wanted to know what it was like to feel like something would be immovable, or never be over.  The only way for me to do this was to find out for myself and put myself through weight loss for an extended period of time.  So I gained about 5 pounds (putting me at 165lbs) during the holidays eating whatever I wanted and then hired Ethan Smoorenburg, a talented up and coming preparation coach, to write a meal plan for me.

This meal plan placed me through tedious dieting.  In this diet, every single calorie and gram counted and there were no rest days.  There were no “cheat days” in which I could eat whatever I wanted and not log the calories.  Every single calorie had to be accounted for.  I wanted to go through this because I wanted to understand YOU.  And now, after having lost 21lbs and 10% body fat in 3 months, I feel like I understand you a little better.

From Jan. 4th to Mar. 23rd, through Ethan's tedious meal plan, I lost 21lbs and went from 19% Body fat to 9%

From Jan. 4th to Mar. 23rd, through Ethan’s tedious meal plan, I lost 21lbs and went from 19% Body fat to 9%. I went from 165lbs to 144lbs.

I’ve learned that through the hardest times and the times when I meet immovable objects, the greatest therapy is simply to allow others to listen to me. I obviously can’t hear you through this blog, but there may be a way for me to acknowledge how you feel. My hope is that through doing this you can find some sort of comfort, some sort of way to get you through this day, and some new way to view what seems to be a mountain.

I am learning how you feel. You feel like you’ve been running a race for years. You want to power through and run full-speed but you can’t do it without remembering that you’ve gone full-speed too many times, only to find more miles to go. You are out-winded. You feel like every time you breathe in as much as you can, it’s not enough. You are still tired. You are still found wanting. You are still gasping for air.

You are tired of being a guest in someone’s home and not being able to eat the meal that they’ve provided. You are tired of being embarrassed because while everyone’s talking and congregating, you’re calculating calories on your phone.  You are tired of people judging you and treating you like a snob just because you are trying to improve yourself.

You look around and you see people living their life indulging on the things they want. They look the same as you, only you’ve been slaving for months just so that you can reach par. The body fat percentage that so many people have is what you will have to slave over for years to achieve.  You sit at work or at home, bored and hungry, and you feel like your body is eating itself yet the scale does not move. Despite your good behavior, you feel like you’ve gotten nowhere.  You are tired of finishing a meal and feeling hungrier than you were when you started eating.

You have had thoughts like this:  “Is this what a life of fitness is supposed to be like? A constant gasping for air? A place with no pit stops and no rest? When will I look at myself and not be disappointed in what I see? Will I ever be satisfied?  Why is it that every small victory that I achieve is submerged by a longing for something else? When will satisfaction set in? Will satisfaction set in?”

An interesting thing happened to me when I finally reached the single digits in body fat;  I didn’t care.  I looked at the mirror and thought: “This is it? This is what people dedicate so much time and effort for? A six-pack? It looks weird on me.”  I know that sounds crazy, but I am not lying.  It really did go through my mind.  Doing this helped me realize the point of all of this.  The point is that we do not wait until we reach our fitness goals to be happy.  Yes, we do need to stay focused, but do so while learning when to breathe.

“If you want only one thing too much, you’ll be disappointed.  The best thing you can do is appreciate the little everyday things.”  -Augustus McCrae, Lonesome Dove

Take your breath.

If you are wondering when you should breathe, take this advice:

When you lift your child up without shoulder pain…     BREATHE

When you get an extra notch in your belt…     BREATHE

When you dance with your wife or husband and can think about how pleasant they are without trying to just catch your breath…     BREATHE

When you work in the yard without taking a two hour nap after exhaustion…     BREATHE

When instead of watching TV, you feel the urge to talk a walk alone or with your loved one…     BREATHE

When you realize that you’ve been consistent with your calories and macros for a week…    BREATHE

And when you sleep at night knowing that today, you did your best… BREATHE

 

Today, if you will, think about the moments in your life when you’ve learned to breathe and post them to the comments of this blog to help others like you.  Thanks for reading.

A Picture of Skinny Gray

A Picture of Skinny Gray

Over the years, I have heard many complaints from my clients.  If you think about it, my job is primarily too serve those who want improvement.  Most of the people I deal with want improvement because they are disappointed with their bodies; and nine times out of ten, it is for weight loss.  If you are one of those men or women who envy the people with a skinny body type, a.k.a. “skinny b*tches,” then I would like to share a few things that might make you feel better about yourself and see them in a different, and more sympathetic, light.  

One of my all-time favorite books is “The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde.  If you are unfamiliar with the story, it is about a young man named Dorian Gray who is painted by his friend.  The portrait is so beautiful, that Dorian immediately envies it because the portrait will remain in its youthful state without ever aging.  Dorian realizes that he himself will not; and he is doomed to lose his beauty at one point or another.  At the moment of this realization, he wishes that the portrait will be stained with age and that he can stay young forever.  As the years pass, with each sin that Dorian commits, the portrait becomes more flawed and damaged and Dorian’s youth remains.  Dorian lives a wanton lifestyle and is eventually driven mad because of his sins.

There are many scholars who have different opinions about what this book is about, but I think that what Oscar Wilde was getting to is that punishment demands perfection.  Stay with me, I’m getting to the point.  Dorian Gray was catapulted into sin because he never received physical consequences because of his actions.  There is purification in punishment.  With most sins, consequences follow.  If a child disobeys and touches the stove despite his mother’s instruction, he is burned.  Because of his disobedience, he immediately feels the consequences and no longer touches it.  In a just world, what good is anything that we do, good or bad, if there are no consequences to anything?  


“If we wish to receive positive results when we do right, then how can we justly request that we don’t receive negative results from our wrongdoings?”


Here is where we apply this principle to the subject of health.  We must realize that people who are naturally skinny, no matter what they eat, are NOT the blessed ones.  They are cursed. I can’t tell you how many people have looked at my dainty wife and envied the fact that she used to eat whatever she wanted without gaining a pound.  The truth is, she used to look exactly the same but was not “healthy” at all.  (For the record, my lovely wife has developed excellent health habits and all is well.)  We can look healthy on the outside but be in terrible health on the inside. 

 
Image

The truth is that if you are like me and gain three pounds the minute you even smell pizza or look at Oreos, you are BLESSED. (Do you really mean that Luke?) YES, I do.  You are blessed with a natural accountability that will keep you on track.  Sure, it’s harder to be like us, but if we see the effects of unhealthy habits instantly then it will encourage and motivate us to change.  If we just moved along eating whatever we want and never exercising, then it will inevitably take vengeance on us through disease or injury.  

The goal here is health, NOT vanity.  I can have a client that can change his unhealthy habits and get healthier without losing a pound.  If the habits change without the weight, we have still succeeded.  The problem is that we are physical creatures that cannot help but to be influenced by the vain society in which we live.  I know it’s hard but we must have hope and see it this way.  It’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror and hate what you see even if you know that you are healthy on the inside.  But we cannot loose heart.  The purpose of it all is to BE HEALTHY; and to prevent disease so that our loved ones can not only have us here on Earth longer, but have the best of us while we are here.  And be encouraged, because when healthy habits come first, the weight-loss and a healthy-looking body usually follow.  We just cannot make “good looks” the end.  Good health is NOT a means to looking better, it is the GOAL.  


Health is the end, not the means.


So to those are naturally skinny, please know that good genetics and a “skinny look” or “fit look” is not evidence for good health.  And be encouraged to workout and eat healthy like the rest of us.  Plant yourself around people who seek good health for the right reasons and join us in the fight against preventable disease!  For those like me who gain weight easier, stop hating the way you are and be grateful that you have a body that holds you accountable.  I promise you, when you arrive at a later date healthy enough to run around with your grandchildren and/or great grandchildren, you will thank God for blessing you with a body that kept you in check all of your life.


Be encouraged. Be healthy.

 

coming soon….

I am thrilled to announce that www.lukeandrus.com will be partnering with Brian Melancon and C620Nutrition to bring a complete blog experience to all who will participate.

Brian Melancon with C620Nutrition

Brian Melancon with C620Nutrition

Brian Melancon will begin writing for Fit to Live.  He will be providing a scientific perspective on fitness.  He will also be providing credible resources with every entry; this will give you the opportunity to pursue more knowledge for yourself as well.

When I began this blog, I wanted to tackle the psychological and philosophical aspects of fitness.   With Brian as a writer, we will be able to bring you a well-rounded approach to fitness and give you advice on every side of the spectrum.  His first entry will be posted next week.  Keep an eye out.  Through all of this, our greatest hope is that you will be fit to live a wonderfully fit life.

SAFEHAVEN

I am a big fan of laughing at funerals. I’m reminded of the morning that my mother died; my close friend John Hamiter arrived later that day. His mother, with her big brown eyes tearing up, asked me if I needed anything. I look down with no words to speak.

How could I ask anything of her? How could I expect anything of her? How could I use my sorrow as a way to get something? Just then, my friend John knew what to do. He looked at me and patted me on the leg as if to say “I got this man,” and looked up at his mother. He solemnly said: “yes mom, we’ll have some Starburst, a plastic baseball bat full of sunflower seeds, IBC root beer, and Flintstone push-up pops. He looked over to me, and I was already smiling. He had used the leverage of our sorrow for a few bucks worth of junk food and soft drinks, and it was brilliant.

The truth is that day was already going to be a very difficult day for me. We might as well have brightened it up with a few Starburst of light.

I often hear positive people getting a lot of crap about being an “overly positive person.” The people that give it to them are those who think that positive people are escapist. They think that because they’re being positive, they are ignoring the real circumstances around them. These are the so-called “Realist” who think that they are just “keeping it real” by acknowledging their problems and talking about them constantly. Here is the truth; it IS NOT fake or ignorant to stay positive. Most positive people are not fools living in Wonkaland with puppy dogs and candy canes. (For the record, if we did live in Wonkaland, our obesity problem would increase tenfold. I mean, who could drink tea from a lily flower-cup and actually resist chomping on the cup itself. I’m pretty sure I’d end up with Augustus Gloop in the Fudge Room after a dive into the Chocolate River. Ok sorry, back to the blog.)

The proper way to have a positive outlook on life is to acknowledge the difficulties for what they are: opportunities. There a very few people that I have met who think hard times teach nothing. If one learns nothing from his mistakes or hardships, it is because of his ignorance. Pure and simple.

Stacey and Ethan, two of our great people at the gym. Always working with a smile!

Stacey and Ethan, two of our great people at the gym. Always working with a smile!

This applies to the gym. In the past three years I’ve heard people come in to moan about aggravations or how they never lose weight or even just to gossip about someone else. This negative atmosphere will NEVER help us. It is too difficult to walk into a gym already; we don’t need to make it worse by allowing negativity to poison it. Most people come to our Anytime Fitness because they are broken. They are insecure. They are tired of being disorganized. They are failing to love themselves. These are NOT the people who need more negativity in their life. In fact, they should be embraced with a smile and assurance that if they belong anywhere in this world, it is in THIS GYM. My good friend, Bobby Hines, opened this wonderful facility with one thing in mind: To help people. It was founded on positive principles, and we CANNOT let negativity pollute that. We have to protect it. And, in doing so, our community will protect ourselves. It will be our Safehaven.

By giving this plea for positivity I am not saying to ignore your circumstances. I am saying that the circumstances will be there but your attitude can always make those circumstances easier to bear. You can mumble and groan as you trudge through the mire, or you can whistle and make yourself better while you do it. Either way, you have to get through it. You might as well get through it the best way you can.

I was recently looking through some videos of my adorable nephews Austin and Trevor and by the third hilarious video I realized that all of them were filmed at my Uncle Lawrence’s funeral. I’ll admit, a few people gave us some mean glances; but we were not in denial of the place at which we were. I just knew that the pain of his death was going to happen regardless of whether I was having fun through it or not. I still shed my tears when that time came, but there was no sense in forcing myself to feel worse.

“Life is going to knock you down more than you can possibly imagine. Don’t knock yourself down.” -Adam Braverman, character from NBC’s Parenthood.

The truth is that we need to live Life with an audacious optimism. Whether we are blessed (which is good) or going through hardship (which is even better for our souls). It would be great to be blessed and prosper, but if pain and suffering are the things that complete and perfect us, then those blessings are, in fact, the worst things that could happen to us. And if being blessed is the worst thing that can happen, it’s hard not to be optimistic.

One at a Time: Kathleen’s Story

In my limited time as a blogger, I’ve yet to make a post with the sole purpose of bragging about a client.  Well, consider this my first. And if I do my job as a trainer, there will be many more success stories of which to brag in the future.

Image

Meet Kathleen, she is 19 years old.  I have known her since November, 2011.   She began training with Brian Melancon and after a month, switched to being my client because Brian moved to Baton Rouge to manage another location.  I picked up Brian’s mantle and began training.  Our original goal was weight loss, but when her high school graduation approached, she told me that she wanted to join the Navy.

I knew that this would be a fun, but challenging experience for both of us.  There are some people who have athletic genetics and exercise and strength come easy for them.  Kat is NOT one of those people.  When we began, she had a hard time doing two ASSISTED pushups.

As we pushed through the weight, her athletic ability got better and better. I would send her home with grueling homework to do every night.  When we began, she would have to run 5K.  By the time we finished, it was not unusual for her to go home and run 6 miles on any given weekday.  Our weekly PT test improved over time too.  She went from doing 21 sloppy pushups in two minutes, 67 sit-ups in two minutes, and 1.5 miles in 17:32, to 40+ pushups, 80+ sit-ups, and a 1.5 in just above 14 minutes.  All of which, according to the Navy scoring standards, would place her in the Excellent category.

After 14 months of training, she has lost almost 12% body fat and over 20 pounds of fat.

When we began, she was a young girl fighting bad genetics and trying to fix herself, now, she is a young woman on her way to serve our country.

To be honest, I’m more surprised with her affect on me as a result of our journey.  I have not only walked with her (and often jogged) through this perilous ride, but we have talked about faith, hardship, and occasionally, Breaking Bad.  I have done everything from writing out her meal plans to teaching her about budgeting.  I even fixed her camera at her going away party.  I don’t mention this to brag in what I’ve done for her, but in what she has done for me.  Her determination, willingness to learn, and hard work has renewed my hope in the new generations to come.  And with a daughter on the way, I can’t help but reflect on how my relationship with Kathleen will affect my fatherhood.

Through all of this, our relationship has taught me about how important my job is and how important it is that everyone in our facility be noticed and loved.  When Mother Theresa was asked how she can love thousands of people, she replied: “One at a time.”  Our Anytime Fitness may not have thousands of people, but I can honestly say that we will try to love, accept, and help every one of them “One at a time.”